It usually comes down to who is paying for it. For instance, let's say your parents are paying for most of your reception and they don't drink alcohol. Your parents don't think they should have to pay for other people to drink all night. You think it's tacky to have people pay for drinks at the party.
Some suggestions:
Depending on your venue, there are a lot of different ways to solve this problem. I would always, if it's at all possible, pick a venue where you have complete control of the menu and its pricing. For example, a hotel ballroom is not going to allow you to bring in your own keg of beer or food made by grandma. However, a local community center might. A private restaurant is not going to allow you to bring in your own bottles of wine and homemade cookies. See my post on inexpensive reception sites.
Another option I see a lot is having an open bar cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner. It's a decent compromise and I think it's been done enough that people understand. Anyone who has planned or budgeted for a wedding and reception certainly understands.
Even if you're having the venue where you want and you can control the cost, how do you keep things under control? Here are two easy recipes:
Easy Peasy Punch for 100 (alcohol-free)
9 (6 oz.) cans frozen orange juice
2 (6 oz.) cans frozen lemonade
2 (30 oz.) can pineapple juice
4 qts. water
6 bottles ginger ale
Combine all ingredients except ginger ale and chill.
Just before serving, add ginger ale.
Quick math: One gallon of punch serves approximately 24 persons. (32 3oz drinks w/ice)
CHAMPAGNE PUNCH
From COOKS.COM
1 gallon sauterne wine
4 qt. champagne
2 liters ginger ale
1/2 pt. sherbet
Ice cubes to chill
3 gallons, serves 50-150 people;
5 gallons, serves 50-300 people;
7 gallons, serves 100-500 people.
From the Bar Mix Master, here is an easy breakdown for beer and wine at a large party. So if you choose to serve wine and beer at your party you should have available about these amount of bottles:
| 10-25 Guests | 26-50 Guests | 51-75 Guests | 76-100 Guests | |||
| White Wine | 5 | 6 | 7 | 10 | ||
| Red Wine | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| Domestic Beer | 24 | 36 | 48 | 60 | ||
| Imported Beer | 24 | 36 | 48 | 60 |
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or a 
to wear for the wedding. 
for your bridesmaids. 
with box of popcorn and Junior Mints
with names engraved 
d picture of you and each bridesmaid 
, fill it with chocolate and a cork screw with a note saying this glass is their membership card to the new girls-night-out club you'll be starting after the honeymoon is over. 
For grandparents, a 
In my family, we don't buy gifts for aunts, uncles, cousins and so on. Instead, we put in $20 (maximum) per person, and we donate it to a charity. Last year we donated it to the Humane Society, and a few years ago we took all the money and bought non-perishable food for a local food pantry.
I make candles, some to keep, some to share. It keeps my house smelling great (think cinnamon, cookies, pine) without any calories!
I'm the family genealogist, and I update family members with scanned photos and family tree information every year. This year, after my mom passed, I discovered a stack of old scrapbooks and photo albums in the back of a closet; I'm scanning those and burning CDs for my cousins.
Look for photo coasters or a pretty picture frame, and slide in a nice shot of yourself or your kids with your parents or grandparents. They'll love it.
I love giving themed gift baskets. I spruce up garage sale baskets with fabric, then fill with homemade goodies and sample-size products. And there's no limit to what you can put in a gift basket: Bath and body stuff; tea and cookies; chocolate; a movie lovers' basket with popcorn, candy and a DVD; a pasta night basket with spaghetti, sauce, baguettes and a cookbook; and on and on. The simplest gift basket is my favorite: All the dry ingredients for your favorite cookie recipe, a couple of cookie cutters, and the recipe itself. Makes a great gift and it won't cost you an arm and a leg.
Nothing says holiday like bread, brownie or candy mixes in a large mason jar; soups, cookies, chili and even spice mixes are welcome gifts too.
I give gift certificates. Most of our family is out of town, so people can buy what they want and need, and I save on postage for parcels.
I like to bake, and I usually buy some cute little containers at the dollar store and fill them up with goodies. Last year we bought a bunch of Christmas tins from the dollar store and filled them with homemade caramel corn and peanut brittle.
A good gift for little ones: You can get them their own ornaments — either personalized with their names or with their favorite 
Dinner at the reception is easily going to be one of your top expenses. If your serious about a $500 budget, and you go with the guidelines in the book, you've been allotted $220. So is this even possible? Of course it is! Again, it's highly recommended that you keep your guest list small, ideally fifty people or less but if there's absolutely positively no way to shrink your list and you've got around 100 people confirmed for your big day, these recipes may help. Keep in mind, we're looking for a good solid meal, maybe not the fanciest food your guests have ever been served, but good decent meals that can be made easily and on budget. Enjoy!
Actually, this goes for the Italian dishes too. Better just cover the bride's dress with a shower curtain and let her dive into the food.
How about beef stew? I think this is perfect for a autumn or winter party. Big bowls of stew with dinner rolls, homemade applesauce, salad, and apple cider or cocoa.
Spaghetti for 500
